Rehaan
I donot think you should pretend you should be honest. I am sure Kothari Goons are reading your story on this forum and for the sake of PR they may help you
This forum has exposed the Kothari Goons and they have stopped which proves that they have full time Observer for this forum and he/she reports back
SO GOOD LUCK
Hello all :)
Re: Hello all :)
Haha.. what a tread..
I'm just wondering, why has anyone not mentioned about this bohri girl he is getting married to, to help him??
I'm just wondering, why has anyone not mentioned about this bohri girl he is getting married to, to help him??
Re: Hello all :)
@Ghulam Muhammed and @Al Zulfiqar: hello. Did you not get the message I sent to you? Please reply. I need help.
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Al Zulfiqar
- Posts: 4618
- Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:01 am
Re: Hello all :)
rehaan,
there comes a time in a man's life when he has to take a firm and tough decision.
your in-laws have made it absolutely clear that they hate you and do not want you as a son-in-law. your intended wife is too weak to stand up to them. their conditions are such that you cannot overcome them. you have to decide what is more important for you; your self-respect and dignity or marriage at the cost of living like a cuckold, hen-pecked, pariah husband?
stop whining and leaning on others to find solutions to your personal problems. we cannot spoon-feed you or hold your hand like a kid. be a man and take the bull by the horns. give an ultimatum to your wife to either take your side and leave her parents or go take a hike. there are plenty of fish in the sea.
as far as we are concerned, we have done enough, esp. bro gm. your future destiny lies in your hands. a horse can be taken to the water, not forced to drink.
there comes a time in a man's life when he has to take a firm and tough decision.
your in-laws have made it absolutely clear that they hate you and do not want you as a son-in-law. your intended wife is too weak to stand up to them. their conditions are such that you cannot overcome them. you have to decide what is more important for you; your self-respect and dignity or marriage at the cost of living like a cuckold, hen-pecked, pariah husband?
stop whining and leaning on others to find solutions to your personal problems. we cannot spoon-feed you or hold your hand like a kid. be a man and take the bull by the horns. give an ultimatum to your wife to either take your side and leave her parents or go take a hike. there are plenty of fish in the sea.
as far as we are concerned, we have done enough, esp. bro gm. your future destiny lies in your hands. a horse can be taken to the water, not forced to drink.
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KhalifatulRahman
- Posts: 142
- Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:53 am
Re: Hello all :)
to be very very honest its better to remain bachelor then marrying a bohri girl, omg u wont believe how much they worship money, and she will never love you, coz her love is more attached to morela, u might be taking care of her but still she will just think and care about morela not you...
by the grace of ALLAH subhanu and thanx to this forum I have met a girl, she is not bohra by faith (by birth she is), she is from Australia and she is far better then bohri....atleast she havent asked me yet how much I earn and do I have own house?
I was always amazed when bohri girls would ask me straight on the first meetings, damn and I was like clueless to reply....
by the grace of ALLAH subhanu and thanx to this forum I have met a girl, she is not bohra by faith (by birth she is), she is from Australia and she is far better then bohri....atleast she havent asked me yet how much I earn and do I have own house?
I was always amazed when bohri girls would ask me straight on the first meetings, damn and I was like clueless to reply....
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KhalifatulRahman
- Posts: 142
- Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:53 am
Re: Hello all :)
no matter how much u care and love a bohri girl, her focus and devotion will remain on morela...
Re: Hello all :)
Dear Al Zulfiqar,
I fully, completely and totally agree to what you have said. And I feel the same way about you. I had a very frank conversation with her mother. Being brutally honest with you, and hand on heart, her hands are tied. I told her what I got to know at Badri Mahal, that a letter approving my identity has to be submitted and then the procedure is more or less simply a protocol. But the local aamil knows the mother so well, that if she approaches him, he would instantly informally inform about it to the family. She did tell me, she thinks of me having a good character as she knew me way before any of this had even begun. She honestly doesnt have issues. Its the mamas (uncles) who have the ego and even the mother acknowledges that when you have ego then there is less logic.
She did tell me that she asked me to do it all by myself so that all options are explored by me and if at all, I would actually convert on my own then she would put a STRONG stand for me in front of the uncles. Her non involvement in fact is to improve my chances, than otherwise.
I know it did sound like I did want to be spoon fed. It was simply because the position I am in at this point of life, I pray no one else is. It's an unsolvable problem, has unbreakable obstacles but walking away from it is never the solution. If everyone here stands for the "Progressive" part of the Bohras then yes, we have to get together to portray examples where the word "Progressive" is applied. Otherwise, I am just one of the umpteen cases seen so far and the community would suffer the religious butchery even ahead.
And it was the kindness of bro GM that he agreed to find another way, and I was just curious if my messages were not reaching him. And if at all he doubts the genuineness of my case, he could always verify, meet my parents etc etc till he is sure that he is not getting into anything dirty.
She wants to even leave her parents. Her mother said it in all honesty, things would eventually get fine and they would later 'forgive' her and etc etc. but it is also not the fact that leaving family is a procedural things, her uncles would get furious at the very mention and things might really get physical and violent towards me and her, directed by her uncles.
I use the phrase that horse can be taken to the pond myself so many times. I just want to be taken to a pond that HAS water and not a dried up pond. Please dont feel I am implying you did not help me enough. It was because of you and bro GM that I had the fuel to come this far.
It was just that I was expecting you and him to guide me with various options, use your contacts, set this one important thing for me. Maybe, I expected a tad too much. I shall visit the forum regularly to check if bro GM has found any hassle free way as he said he would try to.
Best regards to all.
I fully, completely and totally agree to what you have said. And I feel the same way about you. I had a very frank conversation with her mother. Being brutally honest with you, and hand on heart, her hands are tied. I told her what I got to know at Badri Mahal, that a letter approving my identity has to be submitted and then the procedure is more or less simply a protocol. But the local aamil knows the mother so well, that if she approaches him, he would instantly informally inform about it to the family. She did tell me, she thinks of me having a good character as she knew me way before any of this had even begun. She honestly doesnt have issues. Its the mamas (uncles) who have the ego and even the mother acknowledges that when you have ego then there is less logic.
She did tell me that she asked me to do it all by myself so that all options are explored by me and if at all, I would actually convert on my own then she would put a STRONG stand for me in front of the uncles. Her non involvement in fact is to improve my chances, than otherwise.
I know it did sound like I did want to be spoon fed. It was simply because the position I am in at this point of life, I pray no one else is. It's an unsolvable problem, has unbreakable obstacles but walking away from it is never the solution. If everyone here stands for the "Progressive" part of the Bohras then yes, we have to get together to portray examples where the word "Progressive" is applied. Otherwise, I am just one of the umpteen cases seen so far and the community would suffer the religious butchery even ahead.
And it was the kindness of bro GM that he agreed to find another way, and I was just curious if my messages were not reaching him. And if at all he doubts the genuineness of my case, he could always verify, meet my parents etc etc till he is sure that he is not getting into anything dirty.
She wants to even leave her parents. Her mother said it in all honesty, things would eventually get fine and they would later 'forgive' her and etc etc. but it is also not the fact that leaving family is a procedural things, her uncles would get furious at the very mention and things might really get physical and violent towards me and her, directed by her uncles.
I use the phrase that horse can be taken to the pond myself so many times. I just want to be taken to a pond that HAS water and not a dried up pond. Please dont feel I am implying you did not help me enough. It was because of you and bro GM that I had the fuel to come this far.
It was just that I was expecting you and him to guide me with various options, use your contacts, set this one important thing for me. Maybe, I expected a tad too much. I shall visit the forum regularly to check if bro GM has found any hassle free way as he said he would try to.
Best regards to all.
Re: Hello all :)
It was in regard to what SBM said that there are Observers here and etc. If at all anyone felt I was doing timepass or fooling around, I am ready to prove the truth to anyone's heart content that I, of all people, am not a Observer or anything of that sort. And I was just a man seeking help from the "Progressive Dawoodi Bohras" who could collectively help this thing materialize and showcase an example to everyone.
Re: Hello all :)
I sincerely don't mean offence to anyone at all. Please don't misinterpret the tone of the post.
Re: Hello all :)
Hey rehaan,
from what I've read, you might also need some kind of hormone treatment for your problem.. If you don't have any health issues like heart problem, blood pressure or any defect to your vital organs.. I would recommend you to visit your doctor and ask him to give you steroiders..
Here are my reasons why you need them ;
- Your beard will grow faster, which is a good thing into become a abde..
- You'll able to face,most of your fear, straight on..
- You will stop being afraid of her uncles or anyone who tries to threaten your well being..
- You'll become stronger, feel stronger and all your action will make you stronger.. You'll become more courageous.. And if you excise on the side, like training weights.. You'll look like a person, no one wants to mess with.. Your voice will become more manly and your body will be screaming "don't try messing with me".. With a good diet, you might put on a few kg of muscles too..
All this, will help you with your over all picture and make you even more attractive to this bohri girl your trying to get married too.. And you might even manage to turn the table around..
This is psychology for survival bro.. No parents wants a weak partner for their children..
If you were living out in the wild like an animal.. No female would have you for a father, because you are not fit to protract yourself or them from predators..
Good luck and please do give us an update..
from what I've read, you might also need some kind of hormone treatment for your problem.. If you don't have any health issues like heart problem, blood pressure or any defect to your vital organs.. I would recommend you to visit your doctor and ask him to give you steroiders..
Here are my reasons why you need them ;
- Your beard will grow faster, which is a good thing into become a abde..
- You'll able to face,most of your fear, straight on..
- You will stop being afraid of her uncles or anyone who tries to threaten your well being..
- You'll become stronger, feel stronger and all your action will make you stronger.. You'll become more courageous.. And if you excise on the side, like training weights.. You'll look like a person, no one wants to mess with.. Your voice will become more manly and your body will be screaming "don't try messing with me".. With a good diet, you might put on a few kg of muscles too..
All this, will help you with your over all picture and make you even more attractive to this bohri girl your trying to get married too.. And you might even manage to turn the table around..
This is psychology for survival bro.. No parents wants a weak partner for their children..
If you were living out in the wild like an animal.. No female would have you for a father, because you are not fit to protract yourself or them from predators..
Good luck and please do give us an update..
Re: Hello all :)
rehaan,
I know, the proposal I've come with, may sounds insane/radical to people whom don't have the insight in this field.. From what you've told us here, you are willing to sacrifices a lot, just to have this girl.. and taking a little steroiders/medicine to help you overcome some of the obstacle, shouldn't be a big deal.. Everyone is doing it.. Bollywood/hollywood actors are all doing it and 90% of athletic you watch on your television set, do it and I'm not talking about cricket.. Even our Moula has been doing it (growth hormone)..
Just think about it, like it's an extra supplement to your deity.. Remember,, you have to start changing, the way you think about the situation you are in.. You are in the path of war and your main objective is to win this bohri at all costs, if you really love her.. I would also recommend you to read " The Art of War" that is attributed to Sun Tzu..
If your plan A, was becoming a bohra, should fail.. You should also have plan B, C, D in place..
And the supplement I've recommended, will help you 99% for sure..
I know, the proposal I've come with, may sounds insane/radical to people whom don't have the insight in this field.. From what you've told us here, you are willing to sacrifices a lot, just to have this girl.. and taking a little steroiders/medicine to help you overcome some of the obstacle, shouldn't be a big deal.. Everyone is doing it.. Bollywood/hollywood actors are all doing it and 90% of athletic you watch on your television set, do it and I'm not talking about cricket.. Even our Moula has been doing it (growth hormone)..
Just think about it, like it's an extra supplement to your deity.. Remember,, you have to start changing, the way you think about the situation you are in.. You are in the path of war and your main objective is to win this bohri at all costs, if you really love her.. I would also recommend you to read " The Art of War" that is attributed to Sun Tzu..
If your plan A, was becoming a bohra, should fail.. You should also have plan B, C, D in place..
And the supplement I've recommended, will help you 99% for sure..